- You don't need beer to have a rock-awesome party
- You don't need beer to gain the Freshman Fifteen
- Never procrastinate to the point that you have to write fourteen papers in one weekend
- Pulling all-nighters are so much better when there's someone around to make sure you don't hurt yourself
- If you hear strange breathing under your roommate's bed, seek help immediately
- If your roommate dies, you get all A's...there seems to be no stipulation about whether or not you kill them, causing temptation during finals week
- If the HFAC (Harris Fine Arts Center, where the lowly theatre and film students dwell for most of their lives) burned down, there would be world peace
- Just because your acting professor is brilliant, doesn't mean he won't be strange...actually, it's more likely that he will be
- It's a lot easier to be awake at five in the morning than in the middle of astronomy class
- Studies show a correlation between professors voices and ancient lullabies
- The smaller your living area, the faster you lose your deodorant under your notebooks
- Jeans can be worn at least five times before they need to be washed
- Tide stain-remover pens are *amazing!!!*
- One of the most priceless possessions in the world is a good pair of headphones
- Thermostat battles can be bloody
- Magnets are great if you always lose your keys
- Receipts make great notepaper
- Plastic bottles can be made into anything
- Being domestic feels good, even if you only own two mugs and a set of measuring spoons
- Not having a car stinks (kinda like your feet after not having a car)
- Wal-Mart and Target are meccas
- Jamba Juice has secret, underground flavors
- If you freeze cream soda, then open the cap just a little, it turns the whole thing into a slushie
- Never take WiFi for granted
- Snow and heels don't mix
- A good cell phone can be dropped at least two thousand, fifteen times before it breaks
- Ice cream heals all troubles
- Vending machine food deserves its own place in the food pyramid
- Bread gets moldy really fast
- Always check your bread for mold before eating it
- Expired milk won't kill you, you might just smell funny for a few days
- Eating cereal out of a mug with a measuring spoon actually works quite well
- Everyone in the world should have a meal plan
- After having a meal plan, when you go somewhere that doesn't accept it, you end up handing them your ID card anyway and taking at least half a minute to realize why they're looking at you funny
- Showers are highly overrated
- Dryer sheets degrease and make your hair smell nice
- Ditto baby powder
- Toilet paper is expensive
- When doing laundry, you must remove your clothes from the machine within thirty seconds or they'll end up on the ground and you'll be ticked off, even though you know perfectly well you will do the same thing to someone else next time
- Unfortunately, with the joy of independence and no curfews, you miss having someone wash your underwear and remind you a million times to take your medicine
- The best place to get someone to ask for your phone number is waiting in line for lunch
- If you go in winter to a school where men and women aren't allowed in the same building together after midnight, you will probably spend 95% of your dates trying to keep warm
- When it comes to dating, "Age is just a number, baby"
- Before you tell forty-five people you're dating someone, make sure it's going to be for longer than a week and two days
- If naps are for babies, sign me up to be two again
- Ninja Turtles and My Little Ponies are completely in style
- Considering they're not drunk, people can still sound awfully stupid singing at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night...not that I'm not a guilty party
- College is made up of a lot of stupid smart people
- You think high school boys are idiots until you reach college...then you realize all boys are idiots
- Magic leoplurodons know the way to Candy Mountain
Just another reason Google is going to take over the world. Plus, it's free! What could be better than that?
