50 things i've learned from college...and i'm not talking about classes

1. You don't need beer to have a rock-awesome party
2. You don't need beer to gain the Freshman Fifteen
3. Never procrastinate to the point that you have to write fourteen papers in one weekend
4. Pulling all-nighters are so much better when there's someone around to make sure you don't hurt yourself
5. If you hear strange breathing under your roommate's bed, seek help immediately
6. If your roommate dies, you get all A's...there seems to be no stipulation about whether or not you kill them, causing temptation during finals week
7. If the HFAC (Harris Fine Arts Center, where the lowly theatre and film students dwell for most of their lives) burned down, there would be world peace
8. Just because your acting professor is brilliant, doesn't mean he won't be strange...actually, it's more likely that he will be
9. It's a lot easier to be awake at five in the morning than in the middle of astronomy class
10. Studies show a correlation between professors voices and ancient lullabies
11. The smaller your living area, the faster you lose your deodorant under your notebooks
12. Jeans can be worn at least five times before they need to be washed
13. Tide stain-remover pens are *amazing!!!*
14. One of the most priceless possessions in the world is a good pair of headphones
15. Thermostat battles can be bloody
16. Magnets are great if you always lose your keys
17. Receipts make great notepaper
18. Plastic bottles can be made into anything
19. Being domestic feels good, even if you only own two mugs and a set of measuring spoons
20. Not having a car stinks (kinda like your feet after not having a car)
21. Wal-Mart and Target are meccas
22. Jamba Juice has secret, underground flavors
23. If you freeze cream soda, then open the cap just a little, it turns the whole thing into a slushie
24. Never take WiFi for granted
25. Snow and heels don't mix
26. A good cell phone can be dropped at least two thousand, fifteen times before it breaks
27. Ice cream heals all troubles
28. Vending machine food deserves its own place in the food pyramid
29. Bread gets moldy really fast
30. Always check your bread for mold before eating it
31. Expired milk won't kill you, you might just smell funny for a few days
32. Eating cereal out of a mug with a measuring spoon actually works quite well
33. Everyone in the world should have a meal plan
34. After having a meal plan, when you go somewhere that doesn't accept it, you end up handing them your ID card anyway and taking at least half a minute to realize why they're looking at you funny
35. Showers are highly overrated
36. Dryer sheets degrease and make your hair smell nice
37. Ditto baby powder
38. Toilet paper is expensive
39. When doing laundry, you must remove your clothes from the machine within thirty seconds or they'll end up on the ground and you'll be ticked off, even though you know perfectly well you will do the same thing to someone else next time
40. Unfortunately, with the joy of independence and no curfews, you miss having someone wash your underwear and remind you a million times to take your medicine
41. The best place to get someone to ask for your phone number is waiting in line for lunch
42. If you go in winter to a school where men and women aren't allowed in the same building together after midnight, you will probably spend 95% of your dates trying to keep warm
43. When it comes to dating, "Age is just a number, baby"
44. Before you tell forty-five people you're dating someone, make sure it's going to be for longer than a week and two days
45. If naps are for babies, sign me up to be two again
46. Ninja Turtles and My Little Ponies are completely in style
47. Considering they're not drunk, people can still sound awfully stupid singing at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night...not that I'm not a guilty party
48. College is made up of a lot of stupid smart people
49. You think high school boys are idiots until you reach college...then you realize all boys are idiots
50. Magic leoplurodons know the way to Candy Mountain

50 bonuses to being single (or never having a boyfriend, for that matter)

The title speaks for it self (believe me, I'm not anti-relationships, I'm just trying to make myself feel better ;-D (nor am I really this desperate, I swear))

1. Virgin Lips ;-* --Nobody's touched these babies
2. Low Temptation--This one's self-explanatory
   
3. More free time--I can sit here and blog for hours without anyone calling and bugging me
4. Low pressure to look good all the time...okay, maybe not
5. I'm not wasting anyone else's time--What's the point in being serious if it'll all come to naught anyway?
6. I'm not wasting someone else's money--at this point I could be anyone else's future wife...that didn't come out right...
7. I'm not wasting my money
8. I don't have to be bummed that I have class until 6:30 on Wednesdays, not to mention a presentation due this week
   
9. I don't have to be bummed that I have a midterm to study for
   
10. I don't have to buy anyone else a valentine's day present
11. I am free to look at almost anyone...after I check their left hands...you never know at BYU...
12. I can be cute and flirty with one guy, then go talk to another and not feel guilty
    
13. I can go gaga over boys in movies and not feel a bit of shame...though making "love-eyes" at Daniel Radcliffe on my first date was probably *not* a good idea
14. Ditto with books and singers
15. I can be completely and utterly naive in my own right
16. I can make back up with Steve, my invisible boyfriend from High School, whenever I want and *sigh* man, can he kiss
17. I can write blogs about the benefits of not having a boyfriend
18. I can commiserate with other girls who don't have boyfriends
19. No one back home can go "Ooooh, Calise, are you engaged yet?"...actually they can, it's just more depressing (jk)
    
20. I can still rock out to Nick Carter and Jesse McCartney without feeling too stupid...*cough* did I say that out loud? (Technically I didn't, I wrote it so there!)
    
21. I can effectively write what it feels like to want somebody to hold
22. I still have an un-jaded view of the world, romance and boys still have a dreamy glow about them--most boys, anyway
23. I've never had to break up with anyone
24. I've never been dumped
25. I've never had my heart broken when a missionary left
26. I never had to go to prom and waste my money (although, if you have read my blog before you know I went to homecoming stag ='P)
27. I only have a few songs I can't listen to anymore (just because you've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean you don't have memories associated with the male species)
28. I have very little emotional baggage
29. I can be un-showered right now
30. I've never fallen off a tandem bicycle
31. I don't dread the end of hall visiting hours
32. I don't have anyone to fight with
33. I'm not forced to watch football (though maybe with a boyfriend it would be half bad)
34. Or play ultimate frisbee
35. I don't have anyone else's DNA in my mouth
36. I don't have to worry about having sweaty hands...not that my hands sweat that much on a regular basis, but at least I don't have to worry if they do
37. I can still imagine the way it will be, when there is someone
38. I can wear the same jeans for a week straight and no one notices
39. I don't have to worry about "Where the relationship is going"
40. I don't have to be jealous of other girls looking at my buy
41. "Everything's chill," as my suitemate says
42. My schedule and life revolves around no one
43. I can give every guy (well almost) at least one chance
44. There's no fear of getting married...that's for sure
45. I don't have to save a seat for anyone
46. I can meet new people all the time
47. I don't have to share my food
48. I can go to a sci-fi and fantasy convention (geek fest) this weekend and no one cares where I am all day or can make fun of me for it...except my blog readers and facebook friends...which is pretty much everyone
49. I can lipsync and dance around my room on Valentine's night
50. I'll be able to pass my astronomy test tomorrow...is that worth it? No!
    

A depressing thing to note is that this list was going to be "101 bonuses to being single (or never having a boyfriend, for that matter)" but at 31 I drew a blank and had to push myself to even get to 50. So much for the ups on being single...
But I'm going to be optimistic! I dare to defy the gloomy view of Single Awareness Day (SAD). You know, I'm glad to be a girl today! So now it'll be Gender Lovers Awareness Day (GLAD) for those who are just happy that there are males and females in this world and that they move in very different ways. Although "gender lovers" could have a bad connotation, so let's not call it that. What about Interesting Nerds, Single and Never Engaged (INSANE)? Maybe not. Well, anyway I had a good day today. I got a very cute boy's phone number and was someone else's valentine for five very long seconds (it was more like ten minutes, but maybe his watch was wrong) and he put a heart sticker on my hand. Not too shabby for my first Valentine's day at BYU. Life is good and I'm glad to be single...for at least another week.