thought of the day

I hope never to write an anticlimactic novel. They are quite depressing. You’ll go days or weeks investing yourself in a novel, getting excited or scared at all the right parts, and then they’ll end on the brother’s cousin’s niece who supposedly saved the kingdom from utter peril, even though it’s what the protagonist has worked for all his life. Blah. My real problem is if they build up this whole beautiful romance that I’ve put my heart and soul into and they close it with an offhand word and the couple doesn’t even kiss! Stupid, stupid, stupid! If there is going to be any kind of romance in the first place, a novel should end with either a kiss or death, depending on the emotion to be evoked in the reader. Personally, I prefer a kiss, but that’s just me. If I ever write an anticlimactic ending that puts the romantic aspect out in the cold, I want someone to personally come and smack me with something hard near the back, flat region of my head. If you would be so kind.

back to y

Goodness, it's been a long time. I'm back at BYU for summer semester now. It's strange, especially since most my friends from winter are gone until fall. With the addition of unexpected housing arrangements this summer has gotten off to a weird start. I've changed my major...twice...and I'm beginning to see a new perspective for my life. I just hope it's the right one. I turn eighteen next month. It seems with each passing year, as I grow older, the world gets larger. Eighteen will be good, I think. I'll be able to vote, sign legal documents, go to the dentist on my own and people won't freak out quite as much when they discover I have the bad habit of dating guys between the ages of twenty-three and twenty-six. I don't know if I recommend going to college at sixteen and a half or not. It's exhilarating and it sure beats two extra years of high school, but it's scary being thrown into a college environment. It's the kind of place where everyone thinks they know everything and, as a freshman, you've just come from a place where you were reassured you knew nothing. Then you don't know which you know--everything or nothing. This may make no sense but I have just come from a fun date and it's 2 am. Is there anything that makes sense at 2 am? If there was, we wouldn't write nearly as well at such hours. I would write something deep and catchy here, but you'd be expecting that.

50 things i've learned from college...and i'm not talking about classes

1. You don't need beer to have a rock-awesome party
2. You don't need beer to gain the Freshman Fifteen
3. Never procrastinate to the point that you have to write fourteen papers in one weekend
4. Pulling all-nighters are so much better when there's someone around to make sure you don't hurt yourself
5. If you hear strange breathing under your roommate's bed, seek help immediately
6. If your roommate dies, you get all A's...there seems to be no stipulation about whether or not you kill them, causing temptation during finals week
7. If the HFAC (Harris Fine Arts Center, where the lowly theatre and film students dwell for most of their lives) burned down, there would be world peace
8. Just because your acting professor is brilliant, doesn't mean he won't be strange...actually, it's more likely that he will be
9. It's a lot easier to be awake at five in the morning than in the middle of astronomy class
10. Studies show a correlation between professors voices and ancient lullabies
11. The smaller your living area, the faster you lose your deodorant under your notebooks
12. Jeans can be worn at least five times before they need to be washed
13. Tide stain-remover pens are *amazing!!!*
14. One of the most priceless possessions in the world is a good pair of headphones
15. Thermostat battles can be bloody
16. Magnets are great if you always lose your keys
17. Receipts make great notepaper
18. Plastic bottles can be made into anything
19. Being domestic feels good, even if you only own two mugs and a set of measuring spoons
20. Not having a car stinks (kinda like your feet after not having a car)
21. Wal-Mart and Target are meccas
22. Jamba Juice has secret, underground flavors
23. If you freeze cream soda, then open the cap just a little, it turns the whole thing into a slushie
24. Never take WiFi for granted
25. Snow and heels don't mix
26. A good cell phone can be dropped at least two thousand, fifteen times before it breaks
27. Ice cream heals all troubles
28. Vending machine food deserves its own place in the food pyramid
29. Bread gets moldy really fast
30. Always check your bread for mold before eating it
31. Expired milk won't kill you, you might just smell funny for a few days
32. Eating cereal out of a mug with a measuring spoon actually works quite well
33. Everyone in the world should have a meal plan
34. After having a meal plan, when you go somewhere that doesn't accept it, you end up handing them your ID card anyway and taking at least half a minute to realize why they're looking at you funny
35. Showers are highly overrated
36. Dryer sheets degrease and make your hair smell nice
37. Ditto baby powder
38. Toilet paper is expensive
39. When doing laundry, you must remove your clothes from the machine within thirty seconds or they'll end up on the ground and you'll be ticked off, even though you know perfectly well you will do the same thing to someone else next time
40. Unfortunately, with the joy of independence and no curfews, you miss having someone wash your underwear and remind you a million times to take your medicine
41. The best place to get someone to ask for your phone number is waiting in line for lunch
42. If you go in winter to a school where men and women aren't allowed in the same building together after midnight, you will probably spend 95% of your dates trying to keep warm
43. When it comes to dating, "Age is just a number, baby"
44. Before you tell forty-five people you're dating someone, make sure it's going to be for longer than a week and two days
45. If naps are for babies, sign me up to be two again
46. Ninja Turtles and My Little Ponies are completely in style
47. Considering they're not drunk, people can still sound awfully stupid singing at the top of their lungs in the middle of the night...not that I'm not a guilty party
48. College is made up of a lot of stupid smart people
49. You think high school boys are idiots until you reach college...then you realize all boys are idiots
50. Magic leoplurodons know the way to Candy Mountain

hot stuff

Now tell me, that is not the hottest thing you've seen all day! Our church roadshow--I really wish you could see my green skirt, orange socks, blue shoes and the amazing picture on the shirt. C'mon, you wish you could look that good!

U2 said it right...

It's a beautiful day! Nothing feels better than getting a higher grade on a midterm than you were previously expecting, especially when it's over 60 degrees outside and gloriously clear! *sigh* Things are good, life is good! Now I'm on a computer kiosk and there's a bunch of people behind me...I will be better about posting later in the week. But life is good, thought for the day.

name that tune--calise style pt. 2

Okay, so it's bugging the heck outta me that no one has guessed what any of the songs in my beautiful cacophany of songs were. I know it was mostly rhetorical, but I still wanted at least one person to guess. So, I'm just going to tell you. Hah.

Collide~Howie Day
I Got You~Nick Carter (I know, I'm pathetic. It's a good song!)

A Little's Enough~Angels and Airwaves
How to Save a Life~The Fray
Boys of Summer~the Ataris
Natural Anthem~Postal Service

Surprise Ice~Kings of Convenience
Paper Airplane Dream~The Lyndsay Diaries
Always Something There to Remind Me~Naked Eyes
Just Can't Get Enough~Depeche Mode

Only Hope~Switchfoot
The Adventure~Angels and Airwaves
Bittersweet Symphony~The Verve
Speed of Sound~Coldplay

I Want It That Way~Backstreet Boys
Friday I'm in Love~The Cure
Perfect Situation~Weezer
Chasing Cars~Snow Patrol

Vindicated~Dashboard Confessional
Time Stands Still~All-American Rejects
You and I Both~Jason Mraz
You and Me~Lifehouse

From California~The New Amsterdams
Everyone~Backstreet Boys
Soul Meets Body~Death Cab for Cutie
Another Perfect Day~American Hifi

Embers and Envelopes~Mae
The Best of Me~The Starting Line
Sunshine~Keane
Song 2~Blur

Save Yourself~Sense Field
Such Great Heights~Postal Service
The Frog Prince~Keane
Spitting Games~Snow Patrol

Nothing in My Way~Keane
Is It Any Wonder?~Keane
People Are People~Depeche Mode
Crooked Teeth~Death Cab for Cutie

All These Things I've Done~The Killers

Man, I need to get a life.
In other news, I am making good progress on my happy little book. I'm going to break it into workable sections tonight then write like...like...dang, all the good similes are taken! I'm going to write like someone stuck at the bottom of a well, clawing desperately at the muddy walls with shaky fingernails and all she can do to get out is to write! Ha! Now tell me if that's a cliche! Okay, so it was a little weird and made absolutely no sense but at least it wasn't "like the wind."

the one minute blog

I'm writing this blog in one minute and I'm not editing it or anything. I'm having a crazy week and I really haven't had time to post. I'm trying to finish revamping my novel by March 12 (1 week).

(That's really all I could get to in one minute)

ah, the tangled web we weave...

The internet is driving me insane! I've been changing all my pages around so the domain names are in the right place and I started a Google Apps account which is, granted, really cool...but because you can't combine Google accounts, I have my pages divided between two accounts, my email on another...well, actually I have three emails which forward to that account...I'm not even sure which one my blog is on (not to mention that it's been down all day since I decided to switch my more professional looking page to caliseacree.com and my blog to blog.caliseacree.com (you can update your bookmarks if you like, but you should be able to use the old ones to get to the site anyway) but now you probably won't be able to read this for a day and a half because my stupid domain host is taking "usually up to 72 hours" to switch over!
This is crazy! I mean the reason I use Google in the first place is to have all my online apps together but now I'm juggling three and that's worse because I can't be signed in to more than one at a time! AURG!!
This doesn't mean, however, that Google will not take over the world as I previously theoriezed, it just means I'm an idiot for not getting one stinkin' account in the first place. Maybe eventually I'll move all my emails, documents, blog posts, pictures, bookmarks, rss feeds, calendar and googlepages over to one account...yeah, like that's going to happen any time soon :P

happy week

Just something quick tonight since I really need to cram for my midterm tomorrow and I've been using my blog and facebook to procrastinate writing all week! *Sigh* Procrastination is really a curse.
So here is my top ten good news of the week:
1) My new favorite song, for now anyway, is "Boys Don't Cry" by the Cure. I also love "Embers and Envelopes" by Mae and "I'll Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie, but I've liked those for a while.
2) I was able to buy said songs from iTunes this week! Yay! Plus a ton more '80s songs, more Death Cab, Angels and Airwaves and the Fray!
3) There was no school on Monday so the week was incredibly short!
4) I got to hear my one-year-old niece say, "Tick, Tock" on the phone when talking about a clock. Pretty much the cutest thing in the world!
5) I did reasonably well on my Monologues in Acting class this morning.
6) I taught a lesson on Physical Fitness for our church activity and it went really well!
7) My Empty-Water-Bottle Drawer is full! (Although I don't know if that's necessarily good news)
8) I have Tropical Starbusts and Sour Mentos that came in a pretty swirly mug I bought for myself! That brings my kitchen items up to two!
9)I aerobicized my butt off tonight! (I don't care that aerobicized is not a word. It should be!)
10) And, best of all, I'VE LOST 6 LBS SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you and goodnight.

name that tune--calise style

This is just a fun little thing I used to do on my profile back in the old days when AIM was huge. ;) It's a song made from random lines from lots of different songs. If you have the time, patience and music savvy, you could try and figure out what all the songs are. If not, it sounds cool when you read it anyway.

The dawn is breaking, a light shining through
Just an ordinary day, like when I met you

Your smile is gone, I noticed it bad
I stayed up with you all night
I saw a black-flag sticker on a Cadillac
but at least I spelled your name right

The world ends at your window tree
We live in a world of familiar strangers
I was born to love her and I will never be free
When I'm with you, baby, I go out of my head

I want your symphony singing in all that I am
And here we go, life's waiting to begin
Well, I've never prayed but tonight I'm on my knees
Every chance that you get is a chance you seize

But we are two worlds apart
Tuesday, Wednesday, break my heart
Why am I so obviously insane?
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Hope dangles on a string like slow-spinning redemption
The epitome of perfection
Just remember the telephones work in both ways
I'm tripping on words

Only can play the cards the dealer dealt us
We've been inside the circus
Where they're far more suited than here
But I guess it's no big deal

We write to patch things up
Say what you're thinking right now
I hold you in my hands, like a little animal
And I'm pins and I'm needles

He's got your picture in his mind
And that, frankly, will not fly
Oh, why did I rely on fashions and small fry?
My heart is bursting in your perfect eyes

For a lonely soul you're having such a nice time
Well, love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme
It's obvious you hate me, though I've done nothing wrong
You can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Now, when I become rich and famous, people will analyze this song to discover the true meaning. They will come up with beautiful theories, but no one will come close. Think about it.

The truth is, there is no deep meaning. I tried to make it rhyme at first but that was taking me too long and didn't work anyway, so I mixed most of it up. Don't tell Them that,though!

i ♥ nerds

*Sigh* I was reminded tonight about just how much I love nerd boys. I spent the evening playing *cool* games like Cleopatra--where you get to build fun temples--and some really long-named game where you're in a haunted house--I found the Mystic Elevator...it was pretty exciting. When I first went over to ask if I could play, I thought I was doing it for observational purposes--a fantasy novelist should know what her target audience is doing--but it ended up being really fun. Plus, I felt like I could relax and be myself because I was really not trying to be cool. That says something about me on a regular basis, I know, but it's hard to not try and prove yourself normal among people who are apt to think you strange.
So now there is a battle raging in my mind:
In the long run, do I go for guys that are "nerds" and don't think it's weird that I'm weird and can be pretty cute if you get the right mixture of charm and social ineptness, or do I go for "normal" boys that can balance my odd tendencies with some semblance of normality and appreciate me because I'm different?
There are debates for both. If I married a strange guy I'm afraid our children might have problems...not serious problems, but life might be easier if they didn't have two very strange parents. I've got to watch myself as it is not to name them anything too far out there (although I think Storm is the coolest, manliest name I could think of. There are some who disagree with me. All I know is that if I ever met a guy named Storm, I would be instantly enamored).
Boys are so cute when they go off on random nerdy tangents or when they get really wrapped up in something *besides* sports. Plus, glasses can be so darn attractive (especially with a large nose, but I believe I went over this in another post).
Okay, now I'm gushing. I really need to stop that. I'm going to lose any readership I had...if there was any. I'm seventeen and have far too much estrogen for my own good! Give me a break!
You know what really gets me giddy though? Of course you don't. It would be a tad scary if you did. I'll tell you so you can go, "Calise, would you please shut-up!"
It's either boys who seem really masculine and tough having a vulnerable, even embarrassing side *or* nerdy, even socially inept, boys who have a strong, protective side. Believe me, when you write this stuff you have to make extensive case studies (well, you don't have to, but it's fun). I have limitless examples.
One of the best is blushing. Blushing is, for me, one of the cutest things a guy can do. Other good examples are superheros (Peter Parker/Spiderman is my favorite),
self-consciousness (although I should probably not wish that upon anyone), phobias, and lots of the male protagonists I write, of course.
This single element is what makes most romantic books and movies exciting to me. I love that the frog is actually a prince or the masked man is really just a farm boy who learned how to play with a sword. You want to write a story that will make Calise Acree grin until her face is about to burst and hear her make odd noises in the back of her throat, write romances where people have secrets--not nasty, ugly secrets, but "oh, gosh, she'd laugh at me," secrets. Strip your characters naked for the world to see--*not literally* I just mean expose them. Perhaps that's why I like YA so much. Teenagers are so unsure of themselves (myself included) and I love to read about people who feel just as gawky in the world as I do, and I love them for it.
Dang, this is long, again...and about my love life, again. I'm sorry I have such a limited focus in life. I talk to boys, I write, I think about boys, I write, I write about boys...

life, the universe and everything

Do you have any idea how insanely exciting it is to go to a writing symposium, meet your favorite author and have him tell you he likes the concept for your novel? I bet you don't! But let me tell you from experience that it is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Yes, this happened to me this past weekend.
I attended Life, the Universe and Everything, the science fiction and fantasy symposium at the Wilkinson Center (hereafter called "the Wilk" as it is termed) which was really neat to begin with. The classes and panels were excellent. I wish I could have spent more time at the symposium, but I had this pesky little thing called college going on. Who invented that?
I learned about everything from collaboration with editors to the science of magic. I also went to an internet advertising class that is making me question every thing I write down here.
It might interest you to know that I spent the better part of an hour writing the beautiful tale of what happened in the first paragraph, but read it back over and realized, "Calise, no one cares." If you do care, I feel loved and you can comment or email me for the whole story.
The good news is, I've gotten my second wind...or eighth breeze, really, and I have a great determination to press onward now. I'm going to get published. I'm going to be a novelist and be a great influence for good in the world. This is my dearest ambition.
Oh, I should tell you, I've come up with my own personal mission statement of why I am supposed to write. Are you ready?
In writing I desire to illuminate life, to help people come to the wonderful knowledge I've been blessed with--that we can be happy here on earth despite the nasty things that happen. I truly believe that. I also want to find beauty in unexpected places.
That sounds pretty good, huh? sstm Well, it makes me happy anyway. Do you like the word "illuminate?" I worked a long time trying to put my finger on that one.
So, once again, life is good. I'm going to write and do what I love and go to school so I can make book to movie adaptions better than Eragon and life will still be good. Although I did get rejected by a guy this weekend. *Ouch*

Facebook is Like Marijuana

Calise's deep thought of the week:

Facebook is like Marijuana.

Wait, there's more. This is an extended metaphor. Facebook quite addictive like marijuana, but this is not my main reason for comparing the two. You see, a very cool teacher of mine told our class that marijuana doesn't do that much to you on its own. I mean, sure, it's bad for you and perhaps not very smart, but it doesn't have nearly the lasting effects that other drugs have on your body. What it does do, however is open you up to taking other drugs because, after all, if you've done marijuana what difference does it make if you do other drugs? This is the reasoning, anyway (according to my teacher--I take his word for it). So, my teacher said he could always tell when his "friends" started doing pot because they would suddenly stop hanging out with him because when they were with him, he reminded them that they were doing something wrong. He spoiled their fun. So, they pressured him to do pot too, so that they could forget their own compunction.
This is where my Facebook/Marijuana Metaphor kicks in! You see we are pressured into getting a Facebook by our friends. Weak in the face of our peers, anxious to please and have fun, we do it. We reason that we'll only post a few pictures and update our status once a week and maybe talk to that long lost friend who moved to Zimbabwe back in '96. An hour a week, tops! But then, one thing leads to another and before we know it, we're poking with the best of them and starting our own groups for Nose Connoisseurs and practically spamming people's Walls. Spending far more time online than we should, we begin to feel guilty. When we spend time with our non-Facebooking friends, we marvel at the time and energy they seem to have and vaguely remember days before we knew how to state our emotions in third-person or racked our brains to remember how we met a person randomly and if it was them we traveled to the grocery store with, back in '03. We don't like that the non-Facebookers remind us of those times, so there's only one thing left to do...sign them up immediately.

Okay, so this was a little out there...one of those things you analyze in the shower. Am I the only one who thinks better in the shower? Or interviews herself on Oprah? "Yes. Yes, Calise, you are. You are now officially a loser." Thanks, guys.

Did you know that every awkward silence, someone thinks of Abraham Lincoln?

50 bonuses to being single (or never having a boyfriend, for that matter)

The title speaks for it self (believe me, I'm not anti-relationships, I'm just trying to make myself feel better ;-D (nor am I really this desperate, I swear))

1. Virgin Lips ;-* --Nobody's touched these babies
2. Low Temptation--This one's self-explanatory
   
3. More free time--I can sit here and blog for hours without anyone calling and bugging me
4. Low pressure to look good all the time...okay, maybe not
5. I'm not wasting anyone else's time--What's the point in being serious if it'll all come to naught anyway?
6. I'm not wasting someone else's money--at this point I could be anyone else's future wife...that didn't come out right...
7. I'm not wasting my money
8. I don't have to be bummed that I have class until 6:30 on Wednesdays, not to mention a presentation due this week
   
9. I don't have to be bummed that I have a midterm to study for
   
10. I don't have to buy anyone else a valentine's day present
11. I am free to look at almost anyone...after I check their left hands...you never know at BYU...
12. I can be cute and flirty with one guy, then go talk to another and not feel guilty
    
13. I can go gaga over boys in movies and not feel a bit of shame...though making "love-eyes" at Daniel Radcliffe on my first date was probably *not* a good idea
14. Ditto with books and singers
15. I can be completely and utterly naive in my own right
16. I can make back up with Steve, my invisible boyfriend from High School, whenever I want and *sigh* man, can he kiss
17. I can write blogs about the benefits of not having a boyfriend
18. I can commiserate with other girls who don't have boyfriends
19. No one back home can go "Ooooh, Calise, are you engaged yet?"...actually they can, it's just more depressing (jk)
    
20. I can still rock out to Nick Carter and Jesse McCartney without feeling too stupid...*cough* did I say that out loud? (Technically I didn't, I wrote it so there!)
    
21. I can effectively write what it feels like to want somebody to hold
22. I still have an un-jaded view of the world, romance and boys still have a dreamy glow about them--most boys, anyway
23. I've never had to break up with anyone
24. I've never been dumped
25. I've never had my heart broken when a missionary left
26. I never had to go to prom and waste my money (although, if you have read my blog before you know I went to homecoming stag ='P)
27. I only have a few songs I can't listen to anymore (just because you've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean you don't have memories associated with the male species)
28. I have very little emotional baggage
29. I can be un-showered right now
30. I've never fallen off a tandem bicycle
31. I don't dread the end of hall visiting hours
32. I don't have anyone to fight with
33. I'm not forced to watch football (though maybe with a boyfriend it would be half bad)
34. Or play ultimate frisbee
35. I don't have anyone else's DNA in my mouth
36. I don't have to worry about having sweaty hands...not that my hands sweat that much on a regular basis, but at least I don't have to worry if they do
37. I can still imagine the way it will be, when there is someone
38. I can wear the same jeans for a week straight and no one notices
39. I don't have to worry about "Where the relationship is going"
40. I don't have to be jealous of other girls looking at my buy
41. "Everything's chill," as my suitemate says
42. My schedule and life revolves around no one
43. I can give every guy (well almost) at least one chance
44. There's no fear of getting married...that's for sure
45. I don't have to save a seat for anyone
46. I can meet new people all the time
47. I don't have to share my food
48. I can go to a sci-fi and fantasy convention (geek fest) this weekend and no one cares where I am all day or can make fun of me for it...except my blog readers and facebook friends...which is pretty much everyone
49. I can lipsync and dance around my room on Valentine's night
50. I'll be able to pass my astronomy test tomorrow...is that worth it? No!
    

A depressing thing to note is that this list was going to be "101 bonuses to being single (or never having a boyfriend, for that matter)" but at 31 I drew a blank and had to push myself to even get to 50. So much for the ups on being single...
But I'm going to be optimistic! I dare to defy the gloomy view of Single Awareness Day (SAD). You know, I'm glad to be a girl today! So now it'll be Gender Lovers Awareness Day (GLAD) for those who are just happy that there are males and females in this world and that they move in very different ways. Although "gender lovers" could have a bad connotation, so let's not call it that. What about Interesting Nerds, Single and Never Engaged (INSANE)? Maybe not. Well, anyway I had a good day today. I got a very cute boy's phone number and was someone else's valentine for five very long seconds (it was more like ten minutes, but maybe his watch was wrong) and he put a heart sticker on my hand. Not too shabby for my first Valentine's day at BYU. Life is good and I'm glad to be single...for at least another week.

it's that time again

This week I am craving chocolate and boys like never before. It's a bad combination, especially with next week being Valentine's Day and I am highly unlikely to see much of either. Actually, a correction to that statement, I will be seeing far too much chocolate for my own good. *Sigh* When did eating healthy become so difficult? Or dating? sstm. Dating isn't really that hard, just slow-going.
On a better note, writing is going strong...relatively. It would be going a lot better if I didn't have to stay up until 3am working on monologues for a 2 credit hour acting class and spending the rest of my time on a 2 credit missionary preparation class and a 2 credit scripture class. Who comes up with the credit hours anyway? I would like to give him a very small kick in the...shin. But as soon as I stop procrastinating by blogging, writing should recommence, at least for a little while. If you haven't looked at my website for a while, please look at it because I've updated it and it looks beautiful, if I do say so myself. The pictures look really cool. I look a lot better in stylized black and white then I do in color. Figures, huh?
Anyway, if someone else is going to be alone and desperate--*cough*--I mean available on Wednesday, I'm taking applications now.
Nevermind. I'll just go listen to Hellogoodbye alone and envision the man of my dreams sweeping me off my feet and being "Here (In [his] Arms)"...or maybe "Only the Lonely" would be more appropriate...

college and way too many thoughts on writing

Well, I feel like it's been forever since I posted and, essentially, it has. It's amazing what can happen in just a few weeks. I'm a college girl now, true blue through and through, and like my sister always told me, college is both harder and more fun than you would ever imagine. You have what feels like the most fun you've ever had one day and the next you're bawling, wishing to go home...metaphorically speaking of course. Overall, it's great and I'm really beginning to enjoy it. But what I really wanted to confide in this great expanse they call the internet, is how absolutely terrified I am about something else. I change focuses quickly, I know.
Last night, on my way home from Aerobic Dance where I became buff, my dear, sweet mother called me (or maybe I called her...that's really beside the point) and informed me that my writing mentor--Valerie Clark, a published author who sort of took me under her wing--had called. Ms. Valerie, as I call her, told Mom that one of the publishers she's in contact with is looking to represent more authors of young adult novels and Valerie wanted to recommend me. I almost fell down in the snow (it's below zero outside btw and I have a terrible cold which may be turning into bronchitis and I need to go to the clinic tomorrow) because I was so astounded. I mean, it may not actually come to anything, but it gave me hope. I'm coming up on my third anniversary with Ellic. March 2nd. It'll be epic. That means that March 2nd, 2004 I began a journey with a boy who was far from your average protagonist. He wasn't cool and he wasn't anybody's hero, but he was genuine. He was charming and you could feel it radiate from him when you read him...or at least I could. Really, that's the problem. I know Ellic but I can't seem to get him down on paper. He's there, I can feel him. He's my best friend. I know that sounds really dramatic...really, really dramatic...and I'm kind of embarrassed to actually post all this because it sounds cheesy, but isn't that what a good writer does? Puts herself into her writing to the point of awkwardness then hangs it out to dry for everyone to look at? This is a really random tangent to go off on in this post. I was originally just going to say "I have to do some rewrites and I'm scared," but it didn't really turn out that way. Anyway, I just want my writing to be my voice again, like the voice I use here in my blog. It's just me and it's different and you can tell. I want my characters and plot to be magic for me again. That's all. I think I'm in for a long weekend.

2007

Y ! ! ! Happy New Year ! ! ! Y